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hostess? or Do you live in the area? Now, youre off and running just as
though the host had intrduced you.
Of course, other choosey people will be prowling around the party.
Some of them, after scrutinizing you, will decide you are one of the
special people they choose to talk to. The following is a subliminal
maneuver to make it easy for them come over to cofirm they made a wise
choice.
How to Subliminally Lure People to You at a Gathering
Have you ever noticed how comfortable you feel sauntering into
certain rooms? The chairs are arranged in a way that welcomes you as if
saying, Come right on in and sit on me. Conversely, you enter other
rooms where you must navigate a circuitous route around tables and
dressers before you finally find a free chair.
Likewise, some people arrange their body furniture, their arms and
legs, to say, Hey, come right on over and talk to me. Yet other peoples
body furniture shouts, Keep out! Approach at your own risk. Shy people
inadvertently say stay away when they fold their arms. They give off
insecure signals by clutching a purse, clasping a drink, or smoking a
cigarette.
Controlled studies show that party goers are more comforable
approaching people who stand with an open body, arms uncrossed and
hanging at their sides, legs slightly separated, a slight smile on their
faces. Any object between you and the crowd is a subliminal cutoffeven
your purse. More people approach a woman who sports a shoulder bag
than one squeezing a handbag. The shoulder bag hangs behind her back,
thus leaving the path to talk to her open.
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How to Subliminally Lure People to You at a Gathering 279
Give Them the Ol Wrist Flash
Now, heres the piýÿce de r%7Å„sistance. Next to your face, your wrists
and palms are one of the most expressive parts of your body. Palms up
speak volumes of good sentiments.
The Popes wrists and palms are up when he beckons Come unto me
my brethren. The burglars wrists and palms are up when he says, I give
up, dont shoot. The innocent mans wrists and palms are up when hes
saying, I dont know who took the money. Vulnerable, open palms signify
I have nothing to hide.
They also signify acceptance. When you are listening to a business
colleague to whom you want to signal acceptance, make sure your wrists
and palms are up. Even if youre resting your head on your chin, turn your
wrists forward. Whenever you are chating with anyone, give yourself a
constant hand check. Make sure you dont point your knuckles directly
toward anyone. Let them have the pleasure of seeing the soft, tender
come hither skin of your wrists and palms, not the wrinkled go away hide
on your knuckles.
Romance on your mind? Ladies, let your hands do some taling for
you. Women instinctively turn their wrists and palms upward when a man
excites them. (In fact, the ol wrist flash while talking with males
subconsciously gives them a sexy jolt.)
Pave a Clear Path for People Who Find You Special
Frightened little jungle cats crouch behind rocks and logs so no bigger
animals will spot them. In the social jungle, shy people do the same. They
instinctively seek out corners and sit in seats where they wont be seen.
Technique #74
Come-Hither Hands
Be a human magnet, not a human repellent. When standing at a
gathering, arrange your body in an open positionespecially your arms and
hands. People instinctively gravitate toward open palms and wrists
seductively arranged in the come hither position. They shy away from
knuckles in the get lost or Ill punch you position. Use your wrists and
palms to say I have nothing to hide, I accept you and what youre saying,
or I find you sexy.
Whereas lynxes and lions stroll confidently to the center of the jungle
clearing, human big cats in the social jungle also stand confidently in a
clearing so others can see them. Like a politician, position yourself near a
doorway since everyone must pass your way at some point in the evening.
Now we come to a technique all politicians use. In fact, some political
pundits have credited the election of both John Kennedy and Bill Clinton
to their mastery of the technique I call Tracking.
How to Make Em Feel Like a Movie Star
In the 1940s, movies were different. Before experimental films,
ciema verit%7Å„, and nouvelle vague, they had stories. Americans hopped in
their Buicksa foxtail tied to the radio antenna and baby boots suspended
from the rearview mirrordrove to the movie house, and watched a story
unfold before them.
Almost invariably, the hero and heroine on the silver screen would
meet, fall in love, overcome seemingly impossible obstacles, get married,
and (presumably) live happily after. Oh, the stories varied slightly. But
there was always a leading man and maybe a leading woman. Then there
was the rest of the world. The suporting characters could live or die
without much brouhaha. But every minor event in the stars life was
significant.
Well, movies may have changed. Human nature hasnt. Everone feels
like the star of a 1940s movie. Every trivial event in their lives is
momentous. Theres ME. Then theres the rest of the world.
What someone had for breakfast, what shoes he chose to wear, and
whether he took time to floss his teeth can be more impotant to that
particular someone than the fall of faraway nations or the rise of global
temperatures.
Husbands and wives sometimes share their spouses minutiae:
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What did you have for breakfast, Honey? You didnt wear those shoes,
did you? Did you remember to floss? To create an interesting intimacy,
big winners make a point to
remember minute details of important contacts lives. They obvously
dont feign interest in what they had for breakfast or whether they flossed
or forgot. But to make someone feel like a big star, they remember details
their contact does happen to share.
Take their lead. If a prospect mentions he had Rice Krispies for
breakfast, allude to it later. If, in chatting, your boss tells you she wore
uncomfortable shoes to work one day, find a way to refer to it on another.
If your client mentions hes a resolute flosser, co pliment him at a later
date on his discipline. It hints he or she is a memorable star in the galaxy
of people youve met. Its called Tracking their lives. When you track their
minutiae, you make them feel like 1940s movie stars and that minor [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]